Dear First Gen: Your Mental Health Matters with Dr. Uche Ukuku
- The First Gems
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
You know those conversations that feel like therapy, even if you’re just listening? That’s exactly what happened when we sat down with Dr. Uche Ukuku—a licensed psychologist, trauma specialist, and founder of multiple wellness platforms for the Nigerian and first-gen community.
In this powerful episode, we dug deep into what it really means to heal, unpacked cultural stigmas around mental health, and talked all things therapy, first daughterhood, and finding balance. And y’all—the gems were flowing.
"We don't have to earn our worth. We were born with it."
That was one of many mic-drop moments from Dr. Uche, who reminded us that healing isn’t something you do because you’re broken—it’s something you deserve because you’re worthy. Period.
Raised in a Nigerian household in the U.S., Dr. Uche understands firsthand how silence, strength, and survival are often seen as virtues in our communities. But as she put it, “Just because something is normalized doesn’t mean it’s healthy.”
Listen to our full interview with Dr. Ukuku on Apple Podcasts:
From the Village to the Therapy Room
Dr. Uche didn’t just wake up one day and become a psychologist—her journey started in sixth grade when she did a school project on the profession (and went a little overboard in true first-gen fashion). But what really sparked her path was seeing how trauma impacted young people while working at a summer camp.
Later, in grad school, she found herself the only Black person in her cohort, researching how Nigerians think about mental health. What she found? A whole lot of stigma.
"My dad thought I’d be poor when I said I wanted to be a psychologist,” she joked—but behind the laugh was a real truth: mental health has long been seen as “the white man’s thing” in Nigerian and African households."
But as Uche beautifully reminded us, our ancestors had forms of community healing before colonialism interrupted. She shared how, in Abriba—home to Uche’s and the Gems’ cultural roots—the villagers used to gather after the harvest to settle conflicts publicly; a communal version of group therapy, if you think about it.
“Therapy isn’t new to us—it just didn’t look like what Western culture made it.”
Why First-Gens Need Space to Heal
Dr. Uche’s work centers around helping first-gens, especially Nigerian immigrants and their children, unpack trauma and rewrite narratives around strength and identity.
"There’s this idea that you can’t say your upbringing was hard because your parents sacrificed so much. But both things can be true—you can be grateful and still be honest."
For first daughters especially, she noticed patterns: hyper-independence, anxiety, guilt, and feeling like you always have to “hold it all together.” That’s what inspired her to create The Ada Group—a healing space specifically for eldest daughters navigating the emotional labor of being the family fixer.
If that hit you in the chest... same.
Let’s Talk Therapy (and Making It Accessible)
One of the biggest barriers to therapy? Access. That’s why Dr. Uche co-founded the Talk Naija Therapy Fund, which provides financial support for therapy sessions, covering up to eight sessions at $120 each.
Yep, that’s real help.
And if you’re not quite sure how to find a therapist, Dr. Uche broke it down. Start by asking: What do I want to get out of therapy? From there, look for someone whose vibe matches yours—and please, do that consultation before committing. Her advice?
“It’s like dating—your first therapist might not be ‘the one,’ and that’s okay.”
She also shared her own experience seeking therapy for the first time during the pandemic (yes, therapists go to therapy too). It helped her reaffirm something she always tells her clients: you don’t have to have it all together to deserve care.
Your Morning Mood Check: A Practice We All Need
We asked Dr. Uche what one mental wellness practice everyone should try, and her answer was simple but powerful:
"Take time for yourself in the morning. Before you rush out the door, ask: what do I need today? What does my body feel like?"
In a culture obsessed with productivity, she’s giving us permission to slow down, listen to ourselves, and start the day grounded, not frazzled.
The Gem: Your Worth Is Not Earned—It’s Inherent
If you take nothing else from this conversation, take this: You are already enough.
Dr. Uche reminded us that worthiness isn’t something we hustle for—it’s something we already have. You don’t need to prove yourself, overextend yourself, or wait until everything’s perfect to start healing.
“You’re worthy just because you were born. That’s it. That’s the tweet.”
So next time you feel guilty for resting, or like you need to do more to deserve peace, pause. And remember: rest, love, and healing aren't rewards. They're your birthright.
Want More from Dr. Uche?
Connect with her work and resources below:
🔗 Website: www.drukuku.com
📸 Instagram: @drukuku
🌐 Therapy Fund & Mental Health Resources: TalkNaija.org
👑 First Daughter Support: Check out The Ada Group via www.drukuku.com
Whether you’re considering therapy, navigating first-gen guilt, or just trying to slow down and check in with yourself, this episode is a must-listen.
Go run it back. Trust us—your future self will thank you.
Want more convos like this? Catch the full episode wherever you listen to podcasts, and follow The First Gems for more stories that speak to your soul.